


Something Dumb to Do

by travelledspace (wildestoftales)



Category: Kingsman (Movies), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Established Relationship, Fluff, Injured Character, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9776939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestoftales/pseuds/travelledspace
Summary: “D'you want to elope?”“Wha'?” Eggsy asks back, half-asleep.“It means running away to get married, sleepy-head.”Eggsy makes a noise somewhere between 'no' and 'let me sleep'.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I don't make the rules. All I know is that Bones and Eggsy are in love 
> 
>  
> 
> TW for an injured character, blood, concussion. The title comes from Bruno Mars' "Marry You" cause I'm creative like that!

The first time Eggsy proposes to Bones, he's bleeding from at least three different wounds, not including the blow to the head he's received. He's not sure if he's bleeding there too but it sure does hurt like a mother.

Well, 'proposes' may not be the right term. Really, he just clutches onto Bones' wrist and blurts, “Marry me.”

Bones doesn't reply. He carefully extracts his wrist from Eggsy's grip and refocuses his attention on Eggsy's stomach wound. 

“I'm serious,” Eggsy tries to say but it gets lost in a sharp inhale of pain. 

“Shh, darling,” Bones says. His voice sounds rough, matching the uneven stubble on his jaw and the dark purple under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.

Three days, probably. That's how long Eggsy was held hostage. 

“I thought about it,” Eggsy starts.

“You're concussed,” Bones speaks over him. “Sleep, all right? I'm giving you something to lessen the swelling on your leg, too. We'll operate when it's gone down.”

Eggsy frowns. He wants to say more but the words are dissolving on his tongue before he can get them out. 

Bones presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, barely more than a soft breath against skin.

Then there's the familiar sting of a hypo and then nothing.

–

The second time Eggsy proposes to Bones, he's just finished putting on his uniform and looks down on Bones, sleepy-eyed and soft in their bed.

The sight of Bones sleeping in is a rare one but he'd had a long couple of shifts at medbay and Jim had pretty much forced him to take a day off. As much as Bones had groused and complained then, he looks nothing but perfectly content now.

“What're you doing today?” Bones asks, accent thick with sleepiness.

“Nothing much,” Eggsy tells him and kneels down next to the bed so he can brush a kiss to Bones' cheek.

“Nothing much usually ends with me fixing you up.”

He's not wrong, exactly. Eggsy laughs and pushes a hand through Bones' bedhead. If he could, he'd climb back into bed, press close to Bones' warm skin and never ever leave.

When Eggsy doesn't reply immediately, Bones' eyes fall closed again. For a moment longer, Eggsy keeps perfectly still.

“Hey,” Eggsy says then. Bones opens his eyes to look at him questioningly. “We should get married.”

A small frown line usually reserved for Jim's and Eggsy's antics appears between Bones' eyebrows. 

“You can't be serious. That's not funny, Eggsy.”

Eggsy's hand stills in Bones' hair. “Funny?” he echoes. “Why would it be funny?”

“Just...” Bones starts and pauses. He pushes away from Eggsy's hand, fully awake now. “Don't kid around.”

“I'm bloody not,” Eggsy protests. “And I wasn't kidding around the first time I said it either!”

“You had a concussion then. Not to mention all the drugs in your system.”

Eggsy recoils from the bed. With shaking hands he grabs his comm badge from the night stand and attaches it to his uniform.

Only now does Bones sit up in bed. 

Eggsy turns away. At the door he stops, gripping the doorway so tightly that he can feel his knuckles turn white.

“You know, you could just say no.”

–

Eggsy doesn't propose to Bones again after that. In fact, he stops talking to him at all. After his shift that day he waits until the computer informs him that Bones is not in their shared quarters before going in and grabbing enough clothes to last him for a few days. Then he goes to hide on Roxy's couch. 

Ever loyal, Roxy promises to break Bones' hands upon hearing what happened.

“Why his hands?” Eggsy is curious to know. He grabs another blanket and wraps it around himself on top of the one he's already curled up under.

“He's a surgeon. Can't be a surgeon with broken hands, can you?” Roxy explains calmly like she's thought about this long and hard. “Then he'll get transferred of the ship.”

Eggsy can't help an amused puff of air which is probably what she was aiming for. “We have regenerators, he could fix his hands in minutes.”

Unbothered, Roxy shrugs. “Still, it would be satisfying.”

–

It's five minutes to the end of his shift when he receives an official message from the ship's CMO, summoning him to his quarterly physical.

To the very official message, Eggsy replies _'fuck off, I know that you're on last names with G and not U, jackass'_.

Like Bones was waiting in front of his terminal for Eggsy's reply, his answer is almost immediate: _'How am I meant to say no when you never asked?'_

“Oh, fuck off!” Eggsy tells his terminal and then storms out of his office.

–

When he enters medbay, probably looking like a mad man on a mission, Chapel looks up from a patient and wordlessly points to Bones' office.

Eggsy nods a tense thank you before sharply telling the door to open and bursting in.

“You know what, McCoy?” he thunders. “You can bloody go fuck yourself! Now you being a rude asshole is my fault cause I didn't ask properly? Fuck off!”

Bones is standing in front of his desk, arms at his side, body coiled tight like he was preparing for this confrontation. He probably was. 

“Do you want to sit down, darling?”

“No, I don't! And don't darling me.”

Bones looks faintly amused at that.

Dickhead.

Sobering up, Bones takes a step closer, holding out his hands.

Eggsy glances down but doesn't take them.

“Look, I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“Why would I be hurt,” Eggsy shoots back, sarcasm dropping from every syllable. “Just because my boyfriend of three years thinks I'm fucking around when I ask him to marry me.”

Bones flinches. He drops his hand. 

“I didn't think… I just thought you didn't think it through. Why would you want to--”

“I swear, don't ask me why I'd want to marry you. Cause right now? I can't remember.”

Bones takes another small step towards Eggsy. “I want to be with you. That's why I'm on this goddamn ship in the first place.”

“Just not enough to marry me. Or at least give me a proper no.”

Carefully, Bones reaches out and takes Eggsy's hand in his. This time Eggsy lets him.

“Can we start over? I'll get it right this time.”

Eggsy gives him a withering look. “You don't really think I'm gonna ask again, do you?”

“Just come back to our quarters, okay? Please.”

“I'm still mad at you,” Eggsy says.

Bones nods.

“And Roxy wants to kill you.”

Bones' eyes go wide. “Well shit.”

Eggsy nods solemnly. 

–

“Roxy made a throat-slitting motion at me today.”

“Good,” Eggsy says. He cuddles closer. What can he say – he's missed Bones' warmth, that's all.

“I love you.”

“I know you do.”

–

The first time, Bones goes down on one knee. Eggsy almost leaves the room then and there.

“Eggsy, will you marry me?”

“Don't pity-propose!”

“What does that even mean? I'm not!”

“The answer's no, get up!”

–

“Darling? Marry me.”

“Proposing while you're checking me for some unknown alien virus – really? My skin is blue!”

Bones gives him a smile through his biohazard safety suit.

–

“Will you marry me?”

“Give me the shampoo.”

“Here – will you marry me now?”

Eggsy can't help but laugh at that. “I'm not that easy, but thanks.”

–

They run into each other in the hallway to their quarters.

“Hey you, let's get married.”

“No. How was your shift?”

“Woah Eggsy,” Sulu proclaims from where he's stopped a few metres in front of them. “That was harsh!”

Eggsy just flashes him a grin.

–

“D'you want to elope?”

“Wha'?” Eggsy asks back, half-asleep.

“It means running away to get married, sleepy-head.”

Eggsy makes a noise somewhere between 'no' and 'let me sleep'.

“Was that a yes?”

“We're on a ship! No running off possible. Now lemme sleep.”

–

“What are you doing on the bridge?”

Bones holds up a PADD. “Paperwork for the captain.”

Waiting for Jim to sign all the necessary forms, Bones looks up to where Eggsy is talking quietly to Spock.

“Eggsy,” he calls. “Will you marry me?”

Eggsy turns around, mischief painted on his face, answer ready on his lips, when Jim interrupts: “For the love of everything, will you please say yes?”

“I second that,” Sulu agrees and even Uhura nods.

“I'll make it an order if I have to,” Jim threatens.

Eggsy crosses his arms and leans back against the console, pretends to mull it over. “I don't take too well to orders.”

Bones walks over to him, mindless of the scene they're creating. His hands on either side of Eggsy's face, he says, too quietly for anyone else to hear, “Please?”

There's nothing to it then, is there?

“Yeah. All right. Let's get married.”


End file.
